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Just the kind of neighbors I never wanted

jpozners Icon Posted by Jennifer L Pozner

May 13th, 2008

Per the New York Observer, turns out the 21st (!!) season of MTV’s “The Real World” will be filming in Brooklyn this summer. So, what, now, is this a challenge of some sort?

It’s like the Bunim-Murray producers heard that I’m writing my book, Bachelors, Bridezillas & Beautiful Corpses: Unraveling Reality TV’s Twisted Fairy Tales, from my cramped, no-frills-off-the-F-train Brooklyn apartment and thought, “Hey, let’s taunt her.”

Speaking of taunting, no news yet on where in Brooklyn the filming will take place, but one can only hope that when MTV’s product-placement drenched parasites inevitably bed down in some overly trendy, gentrified-to-all-hell corner of the city, like the nabe Gawker likes to call “hipster Disneyland Williamsburg,” their neighbors from still-gritty Bushwick will give the multiply pierced, pretentiously coiffed brood the most appropriate of old-school Brooklyn welcomes.

Although I do enjoy the alterno-series of Gawker’s fantasies, in which the show drops slack-jawed yokels and privileged preppies into “the notorious Bushwick McKibbin dorms” for a dose of a little more reality than MTV can usually handle…:

The two buildings of (mostly illegal) lofts, full of idiot kids in stupid pants and two olds, are renowned for their loud parities, ridiculous band rehearsals, and chewy chewy bed bugs. Wouldn’t it be super to watch Amilynn from Ole Miss trying to nail some plywood together to create a bedroom? Or to gawk at troubled, angry water polo player Nickariah (from Duke) try to sex some girl who only eats tempe, cigarette butts, and old cans, like a common goat? That would be the real fake “Real World.” Plus then us quiet (read: scared) folk in the slightly sleepier neighbs wouldn’t have to deal with camera crews crowding our most horrible bars. Are you listening MTV? Sell that tricked-out thing on North 8th! Pack your bindles and head on over to McKibbin.

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